Jokes

Well, the WD40 worked: the squeak is totally gone.
But now my daughter's guinea pig just lies there lifeless.

I was in court the other day and decided to beat the shit out of the judge.
I thought attack was the best form of defence.

I was driving around the other day and started feeling really horny. So I decided to swing by this well known dogging spot that was close by. There were a few other cars there so I pulled up and joined in.

I had a great time, but I think I failed my driving test.

I bought a new 'roll-on' deodorant yesterday, the instructions said
Remove top, push up bottom.


I'm still in A & E.

what are men like?

men are like......government bonds.
they take so long to mature.


men are like......parking spots.
the good ones are taken,and the rest are too small.

Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?

Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.





its not a joke as such but its funny

more men jokes

men are like..... copiers.you need them for reproduction,but thats all

men are like....lava lamps.fun to look at,but not all that bright

Name three football clubs that contain swear words

Arsenal, Scunthorpe and F*****g Man Utd.

men are like.....bank accounts.without a lot of money,they dont generate much interest...lol

men are like....high heels.they,re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it

My missus has just found out that I've been screwing another woman in our bed.

Damn that memory foam mattress!