Jokes

Q.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A.
No idea
Q.
What do you call an unconscious deer with no eyes?
A.
Still no idea!
Q.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A.
Fsh......hehehe

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

A stranger was seated next to a blonde on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.
The blonde, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger,
- 'What would you like to talk about?'
- 'Oh, I don't know, said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he smiles.
- OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.
A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'
The stranger, visibly surprised by the blonde's intelligence, thinks about it and says,
- 'Hmmm, I have no idea....'
To which the blonde replies,
- 'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?'

Based on statistics, the most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style
- the husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naughty boy draws a penis on a black board.
Lady teacher rubs it off.
Next day he draws a bigger one and writes:
"REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!!

2 cowboys talking about sex.
1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !'
'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper 'these feel just like your sisters' and try and hold on for 8 seconds !'

654321 Wrote:2 cowboys talking about sex. 1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !' 'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper 'these feel just like your sisters' and try and hold on for 8 seconds !'

Fucking brilliant mate!
Im still lauging!

What happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?
Popeye kicked the fuck out of him!

Q.
Whats got two legs, spots and bleeds like fuck?
A.
Half a cheetah!

What star sign are you?
''im sagitairius, half man - half horse, licenced to shit in the street''
Billy Conelly classic!

Putting on his hat scarf and coat, Jack turns to his wife and says
''get your coat on pet, im off down the pub for an hour''
''oh, super'' she says ''does that mean you're taking me with you''
''No, he replies Im turning the central heating off''