Jokes

A little Xmas tune for you....


Rudolph the well-hung reindeer
Had a great enormous cock
All he could ever do with it
Was beat it off inside a sock

All of the female reindeer
Had pussies that were just too small
And poor old well-hung Rudolph
Couldn't get no sex at all

Then one horny Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
"Rudolph with your cock so strong
Fuck my arsehole all night long

Then how the reindeer loved him
And some of them were heard to say:
"Rudolph the well-hung reindeer
You're so lucky Santa's gay!"

"The road to Good Intentions be paved with Hell"

Do you know why Adam lived in paradise?

He didn't have a mother in law there...

Did you hear about the Hyena that swallowed a box of Oxo cubes?

It made a laughing stock of itself!!




xmas crackers opened early in the williams household....

Adam and Eve are in the Garden of Eden one day when God drops by to see how things are. "Fine" says Adam, "but it gets a bit boring at times. There's so little to do"
"OK" says God. "Let me have a think about it" so God goes off and comes back the next day and says "Right, I've created sex. That'll keep you occupied"
"What's sex?" asks Eve. "You'll see!" says God as he waves his hand in the direction of Adam's loins, causing an immediate and massive hard-on. "I'll be back in the morning to see how you've got on".

The next morning God goes back to the garden to find Adam in a state of exhauted ecstasy. "Wow, that was brilliant, we were at it all night long! Thanks, God, Eve really enjoyed it as well"

"Where is Eve?" asks God, looking around

"Oh, she's just gone down to the river to wash off"

"What!! Oh, no!! I've just created fish in there.....I'll never get the smell out of them now!!!!!"

£14 for a full Christmas dinner that feeds three.... That's why Mums go to Iceland.

£10 for an 18 year old bouncing on your cock all day.... That's why Dads go to Thailand.

"The road to Good Intentions be paved with Hell"

My wife said she's going to leave me, on account of me being too immature for her....

As she was walking out of the front door - I flicked a bogey at her!

"The road to Good Intentions be paved with Hell"

What's the difference between a bogey and a brussels sprout?

Try getting your kids to eat a brussels sprout!!

(23-12-2010 19:54 )Jam Da Man Wrote:  £14 for a full Christmas dinner that feeds three.... That's why Mums go to Iceland.

£10 for an 18 year old bouncing on your cock all day.... That's why Dads go to Thailand.

I really should not laugh at that.

Little Johnny comes home from school one day and asks his mother what "shit" meant.

Thinking fast she replied "food on the table".

Next day he comes home and asks his mother what does "son of a bitch" mean.

Again, thinking fast again she says "It's a priest".

Next day he comes home a asks what does "fuckin'" mean. She says it means "getting dressed".

That same night a priest was coming over for dinner. Johnny is just finished setting the table when he hears the doorbell ring.

He yells "got it". He opens the door and says "Hey son of a bitch, shits on the table and mom and dad are upstairs fuckin'".

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"