Jokes

A bloke shows up to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a pair of old Y-fronts. "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asks the confused party host. The bloke proudly declares, "I'm a premature ejaculation!" The host looks puzzled, when the guest adds, "I just came in my pants, you see!"

a man with a steering wheel in his pants goes to see the doctor, called Don T Getjokes, and the doctor says, oh, dear, that looks bad...

I texted my boss "what's the difference between this morning & your daughter?" He answered "I don't know" I replied "I'm not coming in this morning"

Did you hear about the burglar who was running away from the cops when he fell inside a combine havester?
His family have been told not to worry as he'll soon be out on bale.

I held a party for erectile dysfunction sufferers the other day. Nobody came.

I just had a lucky escape! Walked into B&Q this morning and some old bastard dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.
Fortunately I got the first punch in.......

To all those people who hate hand jesture "I salute you"

My next door neighbour is a fat alcoholic transvestite - All he wants to
do is eat, drink and be Mary

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
.

Life...it's just an 'f in lie.