Scottishbloke
Banned
Posts: 8,304
Joined: Jan 2010
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RE: Jokes
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
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18-10-2011 00:40 |
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Scottishbloke
Banned
Posts: 8,304
Joined: Jan 2010
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RE: Jokes
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"
The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"
He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"
"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."
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18-10-2011 00:41 |
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Cheesy Grin
Losing the will
Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
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RE: Jokes
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon
wedding where the groom was 95 years old and the bride
was just 23 years old. The groom looked pretty feeble and
the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him since
his young bride was a healthy, vivacious woman.
...
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down
the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the
banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little
shop in the hotel. The clerk looked really concerned,
"Whatever happened to you, dear? You look like
you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to
speak, "Geez, he told me he'd been saving up for 75 years,
and I thought he meant his money!"
The last days are here...
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18-10-2011 08:54 |
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Cheesy Grin
Losing the will
Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
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RE: Jokes
A man came home from work two black eyes, obvious getting punched by someone.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I'll never understand women," he replied. "I was riding up in an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her ass. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!"
...
"I can certainly appreciate that," said the wife, "but how did you get the second black eye?"
"Well, I figured she liked it that way," said the husband, "so I pushed it back in."
The last days are here...
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18-10-2011 11:15 |
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