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Jokes

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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Post: #3981
RE: Jokes
(29-11-2011 17:51 )Boomerangutangangbang Wrote:  Give a man a gun & he can rob a bank.Give a man a bank & he can rob the world.

also fucking brilliant

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
29-11-2011 23:17
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Boomerangutangangbang Offline
Owned by Kelly Bell
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Post: #3982
RE: Jokes
Bad actors, have their work cut out.

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Muchi-wa shifuku dearu

...And Justice For All - Metallica
30-11-2011 07:23
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oldboy1047 Offline
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Post: #3983
RE: Jokes
ive been told im selfish because i think the world revolves around me.this is factually wrong the world revolves around the sun which shines out of my arse
30-11-2011 10:33
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Boomerangutangangbang Offline
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Post: #3984
RE: Jokes
I was telling a mate last night that I'd had some Monkey wine.He said "Fuck off ! what's it made of ?" I said "Grey apes"

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Muchi-wa shifuku dearu

...And Justice For All - Metallica
30-11-2011 12:28
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mr williams Offline
Still Missing Roxy :(
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Post: #3985
RE: Jokes
Ladies and gentlemen, for my next trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap.

"Drum roll please. "

follow me on twitter @mrwilliamsforum

30-11-2011 12:38
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wodenssun Offline
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Post: #3986
RE: Jokes
How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? If the girl has to chew, before she swallows

a balanced diet is a beer in each hand
30-11-2011 13:31
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BigBen Offline
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Post: #3987
RE: Jokes
I very religious man is drowning out at sea off of a popular beach.

The life-guard swims out to rescue you him but he tells the guard no thank you as God will save him.

Then a small rowing boat sails by and again he is offered help but again he tells the potential rescuers no thank you as God will save him.

Finally a ferry passes by and the crew offer him help and again he says no thank you as God will save him. He subsequently drowns!

He next finds himself infront of the almighty and asks why he didn't save him.

God replies 'for my son's names sake, I sent you two boats and a life-guard. What more help did you want!?'


Made me chuckle.

Workers of the world, unite!
30-11-2011 13:47
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dazzad99 Offline
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Post: #3988
RE: Jokes
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I said I would drink to anything!
30-11-2011 13:57
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dazzad99 Offline
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Post: #3989
RE: Jokes
A farmer in Devon has successfully grown a field of dildos. Apparently though he’s having trouble with squatters!
30-11-2011 13:59
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wodenssun Offline
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Post: #3990
RE: Jokes
How do you tell if a birds's too fat to fuck?
When you pull her knicker's down and her arse is still in them

a balanced diet is a beer in each hand
(This post was last modified: 01-12-2011 02:34 by wodenssun.)
01-12-2011 02:29
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