Jokes

A hot babes car breaks down,and she takes it to the garage and the mechanic looks at it ,and the babe says "well whats wrong with it" and the mechanic says "Just shit in the carberetter" and the babe says "bloody hell ,do i have to do that regular"
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The internet is a drug. You get on for 1 minute to check your mail, 4 hours later your pants are down by your ankles and you feel all awkward and lonely.

Just me?

If you use both hands to wank, does it count as a threesome?

Just me again

I just bought a ready meal...

Bit disappointed with the lying bastards!

I had to fuckin' cook it, wasn't ready at all!

How do you know that a blonde has been using your computer?
There's tippex on the screen.

How do you know that another blonde has been using your computer?
There's writing on the tippex.

woman give us the silent treatment because they think its a punishment,but we have a special name for the silent treatment,we call it peace and quiet

there are a lot of obese children in britain today,but focus on the positives.the pension crises is over

I remembered to turn my clock back this morning.
I took another 20,000 miles off.
Should get an extra couple of grand when I sell now.

There was incident at the fish and chip shop this morning...
A cod got battered!
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