Jokes

What do you call a man with no shins?

TONY



What is the flamboyant spelling of Sam?

THAM



A lispy plumber was working on a bathroom sink one morning, and turned the water on. Where did the water go?

Down the dwain

There once was a woman who had 100 children...She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.

Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very
kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

I've just bought the thickest moisturiser in the world. To be honest it still hasn't sunk in yet.

Sure, it's easy to criticise clowns, but you try walking a mile in their shoes.

I don't agree with experimenting on animals. Have you ever tried to balance a Bunsen burner on an Alsatian?

Bad news: I can't find my Ouija board and had to improvise. Good news: The spirits say I'm going to buy a house in Mayfair for £200!