Jokes

Mary had a little pig, she kept it full and fat.

When the price of pork went up, she shot the little twat!

They say there is a person capable of murder in every friend group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

I'm not saying my missus is a little bit slutty but...

The last time she was in AnnSummers, she tried to buy the fire extinguisher!

I was going to tell you the joke about the broken pencil, but it's pointless

A peanut is suing a crisp making factory - claiming it has been a salted

These days “The Great Train Robbery” is known as “buying a ticket”.

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because Dave put the wrong sock on this morning!

I went to a fetish restaurant last night. I got toed in the hole.

Marriage is like a hand grenade.. Remove the ring and you'll never see the house again.

Playing doctors and nurses with the wife last night didn't go well... Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese!