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Jokes

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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Post: #8451
RE: Jokes
My friend donates a kidney to the hospital, and he's treated like some hero.

I donate five kidneys and I get arrested...
08-09-2018 17:25
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
*****

Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8452
RE: Jokes
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant.

But apparently, it just changes the colour of the baby.
08-09-2018 17:26
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8453
RE: Jokes
Fucking women... Wife has an Ann Summers party. They’re all playing around with dildos, beads and clit-ticklers. Apparently, I’m the weirdo for sitting there having a wank!
08-09-2018 17:30
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
*****

Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8454
RE: Jokes
My new girlfriend really hates it when I use the words "dick head" and "twat".

So I've promised to make a real effort to learn her kids real names.
08-09-2018 17:32
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8455
RE: Jokes
I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.

If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
09-09-2018 10:52
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8456
RE: Jokes
I gave myself a prostate exam earlier.

That's the last time I buy toilet roll from Lidl.
10-09-2018 22:08
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8457
RE: Jokes
My stoner friend used a page of my agenda notebook to roll up his joint.

He is now high on my list of priorities.
12-09-2018 22:11
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8458
RE: Jokes
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius...

But his brother Frank was a monster.
15-09-2018 13:42
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8459
RE: Jokes
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”

“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
15-09-2018 13:46
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,984
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
Post: #8460
RE: Jokes
The woman next to me on the roller coaster just wouldn't stop screaming!!

It's like she's never seen a penis before!
16-09-2018 17:45
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