Jokes

Sat at my desk eating junk food from the staff room vending machine & watching people jogging passed outside & it has inspired me to get up...


& close the office blinds.

I was in a relationship with a blind girl, it was rewarding and challenging.

The Challenging bit was getting her husband's voice right.

She was only the printer's daughter, but she wasn't my type

(30-09-2018 15:10 )GreenMachine Wrote:  She was only the printer's daughter, but she wasn't my type

There used to be tons of them "She was only the" jokes in days gone by GreenMachine; time for a revival.

She was only the tobacconists daughter, but she was the best shag you could get.

She was only a fishmonger's daughter, but she lay on a slab and said 'fillet'. - Les Dawson

I'm thinking of changing my optician as I don't see eye to eye with my current one.

I had sex for 3 hours last night...

We role-played as doctor and patient, and I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 58 minutes.

I started my new job as a bingo caller last night and halfway through calling the numbers I farted.

My boss rushed over, "Don't do that again."

"Sorry," I said, "It must be the nerves."

"That's fine but there was no need to hold the microphone to your arse."

I’ve just had 40 winks on the train… I knew I shouldn’t have worn this pink t-shirt.

Me and the wife are into that S&M.

She sleeps whilst I masturbate.