Jokes

Bad news for dyslexics tonight.

Your cocks go black.

^
Cracking joke that Cheesy Grin.

Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.

I said “Is that a fret?”

The first time I had sex, it was in my parent’s bedroom.

My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, “This is a bit awkward.”

I grunted, “Just ignore them.”

Organised a surprise bukakke party for the wife yesterday.

Everyone came. You should have seen her face!

What's the difference between a snowman & a snowwoman - Snowballs.


Why are a pair of socks such bad losers - Because they can smell defeat.

When Kevin Keegan was Newcastle manager in the nineties they hit a run of bad form one season & Keegan goes into the changing rooms for a pep-talk with his distraught players."I'm sorry to tell you lads but I'm looking to bring in some new faces!".To which Peter Beardsley replied "Put me down for one".

As talented footballer as he was I wouldn't say Peter Beardsley was an ugly bloke (actually I would) but let's just say I heard he went to watch the Premiere screening of 'The Elephant Man' & stayed behind after the viewing for 3 hours signing autographs.

Woman said to her husband:

"Could you make love to me sometime like in movies?"

Well, the man tore the woman's trousers off, turned her around, and began to fuck her in the ass. Finally he turned woman around and jizzed on her face.

The woman asked, "What the fuck was that?"

The man replied, "Maybe we watch different kind of movies."