Jokes

I just found out that 'Aarrgghh' is not a real word.

I can't even tell you how angry I am!

On their wedding night, the groom gave a venereal disease to his new bride.

They lived herpely ever after.

Why did the polygamist cross the aisle?

To get to the other bride!

What do you do with a dead chemist?

You barium.

Why did they only drink green tea in the Soviet Union?

Because all proper tea is theft...

I was going to do a joke about the clitoris but I hear that can be quite sensitive to a lot of people.

Just watched a documentary on marijuana. That’s how I’ll watch all documentaries from now on..

So, this week I went on a Tantric Comedy workshop..

Bad news for you lot.

I can keep this joke going for a few hours before delivering the climactic punchline..........aaaaannd brreeeeaaaathe....

I wrote a song today about a tortilla..

Well it was more of a rap.

Waiting to use the cash point earlier, some fella stood on one leg, apparently doing nothing with the buttons for ages. I asked him what he’s doing, he said he was just checking his balance.....