Jokes

My grave digger colleague is off sick so I had to fill in for him.

Midgets.....No matter how hard they work,they still struggle to put food on the table.

I've just had lunch with a chess champion, it took him 20 minutes to pass me the salt and pepper.

What's the difference between a Pick-Pocket and a Peeping Tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

(14-01-2019 12:15 )Skyline Wrote:  What's the difference between a Pick-Pocket and a Peeping Tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner of Ebay the other day.All it was doing was gathering dust.

I spent half an hour trying to take off my girlfriends bra. I gave up in the end. I wish I never tried it on in the first place.

I have a posh friend who has a butler who's left arm is missing. Serves him right.

My son is at that age when he's started asking those awkward questions, like
"Dad, why is Mum such a moody bastard?"

Don't you just hate it when someone answers their own questions because I know I do.