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Jokes

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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Post: #9321
RE: Jokes
I often imagine the camera-derie amongst photographers is good thing to focus on to see what develops

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
16-04-2019 11:11
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i'llbeback123 Offline
Hasta la vista, baby!
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Posts: 4,612
Joined: Sep 2011
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Post: #9322
RE: Jokes
What do you get if you sit on a barbecue? Hot cross buns.

What goes well with chocolate eggs? Chocolate bacon!

MK11 aka Mortal Kombat 11 - Spawn (DLC) vs Shao Kahn intro:
Spawn: Imagine Outworld free of slaves.
Shao Kahn: Over my dead body.
Spawn: Today's the day, skull-fucker.
20-04-2019 19:05
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
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Post: #9323
RE: Jokes
people from America are always expecting me to reply to their phone messages, I think they're from Text-us...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
20-04-2019 23:40
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #9324
RE: Jokes
[greetings card]

(front cover)
"hope you die"

(inside)
"To Mr Bond

with love, from Russia"

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
22-04-2019 11:31
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Jack the Nipper Offline
Posting Machine
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Posts: 1,000
Joined: Jan 2017
Reputation: 21
Post: #9325
RE: Jokes
To think that 10-15 years ago cosmetic surgery was very much frowned upon & was a taboo subject.Now everybody including celebrities freely admit to having Botox no-one even raises an eyebrow.
23-04-2019 19:52
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Carl-Gen X Offline
Back from sabbatical
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Post: #9326
RE: Jokes
I went into a hairdressers in Newcastle upon Tyne and asked for a perm. 'Ah wondered lernly as a clood' was the response.
26-04-2019 23:18
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Carl-Gen X Offline
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Post: #9327
RE: Jokes
A woman runs into a hospital and asks a doctor "My husband was rushed into hospital with a violent spasm in his bum, where is he?"

The doctor replied "ICU baby, shaking that ass".
26-04-2019 23:22
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Carl-Gen X Offline
Back from sabbatical
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Post: #9328
RE: Jokes
The inventor of smutty innuendo has died.

His wife is taking it really hard.
26-04-2019 23:23
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Jack the Nipper Offline
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Post: #9329
RE: Jokes
Since I was a child I've always had a massive phobia of elevators.I've always taken steps to try & avoid them.
27-04-2019 23:11
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Jack the Nipper Offline
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Post: #9330
RE: Jokes
With all the hot weather we've being having I decided to pop down to Wickes & get a ceiling fan for the Living Room.I had to return it a day later after he kept criticizing the hartex finish.
28-04-2019 14:35
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