Cheesy Grin
Losing the will
Posts: 5,985
Joined: Sep 2010
Reputation: 157
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RE: Jokes
This joke must be from the usa….
The population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 15 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces.
Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city Governments.
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are,
Sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
The last days are here...
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30-12-2019 17:29 |
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billyboy1963
Posting Machine
Posts: 10,823
Joined: Jan 2010
Reputation: 22
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RE: Jokes
A man and a woman were approaching their 50th wedding anniversary.
To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband.
Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked.
The woman agreed.
On their anniversary night, at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago."
The man replies, "Madge, honey, that's because they are sitting in your soup.
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Ars longa, vita brevis
Cogito ergo sum
Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
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30-12-2019 20:31 |
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i'llbeback123
Hasta la vista, baby!
Posts: 4,652
Joined: Sep 2011
Reputation: 131
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RE: Jokes
New Year's Eve jokes
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er...
I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
MK11 aka Mortal Kombat 11 - Spawn (DLC) vs Shao Kahn intro:
Spawn: Imagine Outworld free of slaves.
Shao Kahn: Over my dead body.
Spawn: Today's the day, skull-fucker.
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30-12-2019 22:23 |
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