Jokes

how do you make a camper van?
paint it pink and spray it with perfume

an old codger is talking to his next door neighbour one day,he tells his neighbour."i just brought a new hearing aid,it cost me 4 grand,but it so good it was worth it" he neighbour asks"what kind is it?" the old boy replies"it just gone 12.30"

an englishman,an irishman,and a scotsman each find a fly swimming in their pint.repulsed,the englishman sends his pint back to the bar.the irishman frowns but flicks the fly out of his pint and begins drinking.the scotsman takes the fly by the wings and says"spit it oot ya wee b,stard"

me and the girlfriend tried some role play during sex,i was the postman.i didnt cum for two days

arnold schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to windows 7,he replied"i still love vista,baby

las night,whilst taking the mrs from behind i "accidently" slipped into the no2 spot.blimey,ive never heard language like it.i think she should loosen up a bit if you ask me

So postmen have raised £300,000 for children in need.

Well they have had a lot of free time lately haven't they.

I was in a club and got chatting to a fit girl and her rather fat mate.
The fat one said “Hi. This is Tess and I’m Kiera.. and if you're lucky you can get to fuck Kiera nightly".
"Thanks fatty," I replied “but I’d prefer to fuck Tess daily".

If Clarence takes 2 books out of one library and 3 books out of another..what does he have?

No friends

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