Jokes

What's the difference between cowboy hats and tampons?
Cowboy hats are for ass holes

I just got a letter from the electric company saying "This is the last warning letter we will send about your unpaid bills"

Finally those thick cunts will fuck off.

What does a old woman have between her breast that a young woman doesn't?
A navel

What's worse than being raped by jack the ripper?
Being fingered by captain hook

Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
Because a woman wouldn't do it if it was called a c#nt scrape

How do you know when your getting old?
You start having dry dreams and wet farts

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

My mate set me up on a blind date.He said "She's a lovely girl,but there's something you should know...She's expecting a baby" I felt a right fucking idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy.

BBC NEWS: 'School Gay Marriage Stance to be Probed'

Anyone else think that 'probed' was the wrong word to use?

I was fucking thìs woman last night & I finished all over her face. "You dìrty bastard" she said "You could've given me some warning" I'm a bus driver,love" I said "I never give any indication when I'm pulling out"