Jokes

babestation x is the biggest joke

"I'm on Holi," I said to my mate

"WTF is Holi?" he asked

"I've took the Day off."

An american inventor went to the US patents office to register a new folding bottle.

"Whats it called?" asked the clerk.

" A fottle", replies the inventor. "Its short for "folding bottle".

"Thats a silly name", says the clerk.

"And i've also invented a folding carton called a farton."

"I'm sorry, there's no way we can allow that. Its too rude."

"Oh dear, says the inventor. Then you're gonna hate the name of my folding bucket.".

I asked my mate what sort of soup he had in his flask.

He started clucking.

"Chicken?" I said

"No," he replied,"Mushroom.....but I can't do a noise like a mushroom."

When ever I hear someone yell stop,I don't know if It's in the name of love,it's Hammer time,or if I should Callaborate and listen.

I'm extremely proud of my wife after successfully swimming the channel.

I was with her all the way,shouting my support from the boat through a mega phone.

I'm just sorry I couldn't afford a second ferry ticket.

This man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and says, "I'd like to buy those two ladies a drink." The bartender replies, "It won't do you any good." The man, with a confused look on his face says, "It doesn't matter, I want to buy those women a drink." The bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and the ladies acknowledge the drink with a nod of their heads. About a half-hour later, the man approaches the women and says, "I'd like to buy you two another drink." The women both reply, "It won't do you any good." The man says, "I don't understand. What do you mean it won't do me any good?" The first lady says, "We're lesbians." The man replies, "Lesbians? What are lesbians?" The second woman replies, "Lesbians... We like to lick pussies." The man says, "Bartender, three beers for us lesbians."

A married couple were lying in bed at night. The wife had settled down ready to go to sleep, but her husband was reading a book by the light of his bedside lamp.

As he was reading, he paused momentarily, reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy before resuming reading his book.

Aroused by his touch, she got out of bed and slipped off her nightie.

The husband was mystified. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"You were playing with my pussy" replied the wife. " I thought it was foreplay for something heavier".

The husband exclaimed: "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so i could turn the pages".

Q. Why don't guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

Q. Why don't they have any toilet paper in KFC?
A. Because its finger licking good!

Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?
A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!

Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???......
A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face

A blonde pilot decided she wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter. She went to the airport, but the only one available was a solo-helicopter. The Instructor figured he could let her go up alone since she was already a pilot for small planes and he could Instruct her via radio.

So up the blonde went. She reached 1,000 feet and everything was going smoothly. She reached 2,000 feet. The blonde and the Instructor kept talking via radio. Everything was running smoothly. At 3,000 feet the helicopter suddenly came down quickly! It skimmed the top of some trees and crash landed in the woods. The Instructor jumped into his jeep and rushed out to see if the blonde was okay.

As he reached the edge of the woods, the blonde was walking out.

"What happened?" the Instructor asked. "All was going so well until you reached 3,000 feet. What happened then?"

"Well," began the blonde, "I got cold. So I turned off the big fan."

I asked my mate what type of soup he had in his flask.He started clucking."Chicken" I said. "No mushroom,I can't make a noise like a mushroom" He replied.