Funny News Stories

....as is this....

''Philadelphia police search for 'Swiss Cheese Pervert' who offers women money to watch him touch himself with cheese''

Quote:Police in the US are searching for a man who reportedly drives around without any trousers on and offers women money to watch him pleasure himself using sliced cheese. A number of women have reported being approached by the “white, heavy set male” who is known as the “Swiss-Cheese Pervert” in the Mayfair area of Philadelphia, US.

The man’s actions were brought to the attention of residents via the Mayfair TownWatch Facebook.
“Good Morning Mayfair!” the Facebook user writes, “Please be aware of the Swiss Cheese Pervert! This individual is driving around surrounding communities and exposes himself to women. “He offers them money to watch him put swiss cheese on his privates. He is a white, heavy set male, 40-50 years old. He drives a newer model silver sedan. He was also spotted in a black newer model sedan.” It goes on to urge potential victims to not confront the man, but to note his car registration and call the police immediately.

According to the Philadelphia Daily News, the man allegedly set up a profile on dating website OKCupid to advertise his fetish. It reports that a woman in the area received a message from a man who said: “I started to compare girls to cheese due to their milky complections [sic], girls are soft, smooth feeling and tend to like dairy products more. That and typical advertising, always using a girl to advertise dairy products. "So cheese is what I started to use as a replacement for having sex with girls.”

The police Special Victims Unit have launched an investigation into the incidents, and have stressed that it is a serious offence and traumatic for those who have been approached.

^^^ Sliced cheese, you say?

When they said "Kids will do anything for the taste of Dairylea".....

Move over CW, you have been toppled from your throne!!!

now that's fucked up! i wonder what she does when she's in a bar in the urge hits her. "i'm going outside for a nappy, anyone else?"

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/ja...n-deported

Quote:Deport Justin Bieber and revoke his green card.

We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petitio...d/ST1yqHJL

It's already passed the 100k mark at 100,645 (and counting)

UPDATE - signatures doubled to 200,000 :



They can't just ignore it now.

Five Michael Jackson fans have been awarded one euro each by a French court for the "emotional damage" they suffered after the pop star's death.

The case saw 34 fans sue Jackson's doctor, who was jailed in 2011 for the involuntary manslaughter of the singer.

The court in Orleans ruled five fans had proven emotional suffering.

The five claimants - two from France, two from Switzerland and one from Belgium - were all members of the French-based Michael Jackson Community fan club.

Their lawyer said they had proven their suffering "with the help of witness statements and medical certificates."

"They have been subjected to ridicule and I am delighted their suffering has been taken seriously by the law."

The damages were symbolic, he added, and the claimants would not be seeking to claim the one euro each from Conrad Murray.

(source - BBC)