Jokes

Since putting on a bit of weight I have found dancing very depressing, when I asked my doctor what was the matter with me he said I was suffering from moob swings.

Elephant says to the camel " why have you got boobs on your back ? "

" That's a pretty daft question to ask when you have a cock on your face" replies the camel.

Jimmy's teacher asks him why he has taken his cat to school.

When I woke up this morning I heard my dad say to mum " I am going to eat that pussy when Jimmy has gone to school" replies Jimmy.

A glue lorry has shed it's load on the M6. Near Watford. Please stick to the outside lane.

my friend went to the doc with pain in the the top of the arm and every time he moved it he heard Let It Go

Turns out he has a Frozen shoulder

Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Show him a used tampon and ask, "What period is this from?"

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A drunk staggers out of a bar and lets go of a loud belch just as a couple are walking in the door. The man yells at the drunk, "How dare you belch before this woman!" The drunk says, "I'm sorry! I didn't know she wanted to go first."

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My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.