Jokes

Is it hard to be a flasher ? No but it takes a lot of balls.

two guys are sitting in the bar and have been drinking all day. one turns to the other and says if you do a dare i will give you 50 quid. The other ask well what is the dare.

he reponds 'you have to knock out that 7ft tall bouncer. You then have to pull the rotten tooth out of of the landlords rottweiller mouth. and then you have to go over to that 90 year old granny in the corner and shag her senseless' the other says' no way I have a lot more self respect than that to do that for 50 quid, what sort of bloke do you think I am'

any way 5 pints later the guy turns to his mate and says 'about the dare, is it still on?' and the other guy responds 'of course'

so the guy goes up to the bouncer knocks out the bouncer with one punch. he then goes over to the rottweiller who growls barks and bites the man but he does not stop till he has acheived his objective. he then comes back to his mate and says 'right where is the old granny who needs her rotten tooth pulled out?'

what is the difference between a Millwall fan and a jehovah's witness?

they both knock on your door six oclock on sunday morning except when you open the door the millwall fan tells you to fuck off.

The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.

"Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."

"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."

Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked. Then the patient's daughter asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"

"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team.

"Women's brains have to be marked down because they're used."

The queen is being shown around a hospital and during the visit, one of the doctors pulls back a curtain and there is a patient mastubating, with his cock in one hand and holding a beaker in the other. He carries on mastubating oblivious to the Queen and the queen is absolutely shocked. So one of the doctors sensing the Queens discomfort explains to her that the patient has an abnormal level of sperm and if he does not ejaculate at least 10 times a day there is a danger his testicles might well swell up and explode.

So the queen being reassured gathers her composure and with the doctor goes to another ward where on arrival the queen witnesses a nurse giving a patient a blow job. The doctor sensing the queens shock explains to her that 'this patient has the same rare medical condition as the last one except this one is on BUPA'

654321 Wrote:The patient's family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.

"Things don't look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."

"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."

Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked. Then the patient's daughter asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"

"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team.

"Women's brains have to be marked down because they're used."

I could not thank you for this joke (as funny as it is) due to the fact that it is an obvious attempt to win the womens vote by trying to pretend that you sympathize with women. Not that this is not working. Stacey has been thanking your jokes all day and not thanked even a single one of mine. Outrageous

Lol if a joke's funny it's funny, I posted women jokes before as well. But I only post it if I think it's funny.

The stereotypes r funny dude, don't mean I believe em, I just find the jokes hilarious. I'll post sum women jokes jus for u lol. Or mayb she doesn't find ur jokes funny lol.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.



There u go setter1000, just for u (Y) lol

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.

Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.

Q. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A. Gagged

Q. What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them.

Q. What proof do we have that prostitution is recession-proof?
A. Everyone knows that hookers thrive on hard times.

Q. How do you teach a blond math?
A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.

a kind of joke. the ciltoris natures rubix cube



not crude sorry to disappoint. What do you call a mushroom that buys you drinks all night, leads the sing songs at the bar and can get you in with any women you fancy?

A fungi to be with