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Jokes

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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Post: #9161
RE: Jokes
the best ellipsis website I've found is W-W-W-dot-...dotdotdot...-dot-com...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
09-02-2019 21:01
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
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Post: #9162
RE: Jokes
Arnold Schwarzenegger just punched me in the face because I said I didn't like The Terminator...

"eye'll be black"

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
09-02-2019 21:03
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #9163
RE: Jokes
A Haiku...

Pigeon says hello
no, really, think about it
this is just a pun

"hi, coo..."

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
09-02-2019 21:04
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
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Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #9164
RE: Jokes
I've just bought so many clothes that are easy to see that I'm now in a lot of debt

they were High Visa Bill jackets...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
09-02-2019 21:05
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #9165
RE: Jokes
a recent survey showed a large percentage of businesses in America are based in St. Louis

proving that Missouri loves companies

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
09-02-2019 21:06
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #9166
RE: Jokes
I recently became the mother of the mother of a deer like animal

but I wish to remain a nana moose

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
(This post was last modified: 09-02-2019 22:37 by handsomeSOB.)
09-02-2019 21:09
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handsomeSOB Offline
not really handsome...
*****

Posts: 1,936
Joined: Mar 2011
Reputation: 46
Post: #9167
RE: Jokes
apparently, people who refuse to learn sign language could be sentenced to deaf...

"Don't quote me on that"

People say, "I was born ready" with me, it's like, I wasn't born ready, but like 10 minutes after, I'm kind of ready-ish...

all views are my own... someone told me to say that and I thought it was a good idea
09-02-2019 21:11
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Posts: 5,986
Joined: Sep 2010
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Post: #9168
RE: Jokes
My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.
09-02-2019 21:23
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Carl-Gen X Offline
Back from sabbatical
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Posts: 4,570
Joined: Jun 2009
Reputation: 66
Post: #9169
RE: Jokes
Just saw a documentary on shipbuilding and how ships are kept together.

Riveting.
(This post was last modified: 09-02-2019 21:29 by Carl-Gen X.)
09-02-2019 21:29
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Carl-Gen X Offline
Back from sabbatical
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Posts: 4,570
Joined: Jun 2009
Reputation: 66
Post: #9170
RE: Jokes
A man walks into the doctor's office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his bum.

The doc takes one look and he says, "Jeeze, it looks like we have one hell of a problem here."

The guy responds "This is just the tip of the iceberg."
09-02-2019 21:30
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