Jokes

I've never kissed under the cameltoe or whatever they call it

More x-mas here:

Q. How do snowmen get around?
A. By icicle!

Q. Why did the golfer have an extra pair of trousers on?
A. In case he got a hole in one.]

Q. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card?
A. Stick with me and we'll go places!

Q. Why can't Cinderella play football?
A. She keep running away from the ball!

More...

Q.Where do snowmen go to dance?
A. Snowballs!

Q. Why do hummingbirds hum?
A. Because they don't know the words.

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil.

What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?

A glad-he-ate-her.

Q. Why does everyone like Frosty the Snowman?
A. Because he is so cool!

Q. Why wouldn't the shrimp share his treasure?
A. Because he was a little shellfish!

Q. What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
A. The elf-abet!

Q. Why do eggs avoid telling jokes?
A. They crack each other up.

Q. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
A. He was feeling crumby!

Q. What did one cracker hat say to the other cracker hat?
A. You stay here, I'm gonna go on ahead.

Q. How many letters are in the Christmas alphabet?
A. 25, because there's No-el.

Q. What bird is always out of breath?
A. A puffin!

Q. What do you call an old snowman?
A. A puddle!

Q. What is the fastest cake in the world?
A. Too late, it's scone.

Q. What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?
A. Ice cream!

Q. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A. He neverland!

How do you fix a set of two?

You re-pair them

Why couldn't the egg complete the exam?

Because it's mind was scrambled

Which vegetable can you use to cut things?

A par-snip

Whats long and hard and has cum in it?

A cucumber