billyboy1963
Posting Machine
Posts: 10,471
Joined: Jan 2010
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RE: Jokes
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
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Ars longa, vita brevis
Cogito ergo sum
Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
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07-02-2020 18:45 |
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billyboy1963
Posting Machine
Posts: 10,471
Joined: Jan 2010
Reputation: 22
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RE: Jokes
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was farting because they don’t smell and are silent.”
The doctor says, “I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.”
The next week the lady comes back.
“Doctor,” she says, “I don’t know what you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent…stink terribly.”
The doctor says, “Good! Now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, let’s work on your hearing.”
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Ars longa, vita brevis
Cogito ergo sum
Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
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08-02-2020 20:24 |
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billyboy1963
Posting Machine
Posts: 10,471
Joined: Jan 2010
Reputation: 22
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RE: Jokes
A burglar broke into a home.
He heard a soft voice say, “Jesus is watching you.” Thinking it was his imagination, he continued his search.
Again, he hears: “Jesus is watching you.”
He turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage.
He asked the parrot if he was the one talking. The parrot said, “Yes.” So he asked the parrot his name, and the parrot replied, “Moses.”
The burglar asked, “What kind of people would name a parrot Moses
The parrot replied, “The same kind of people who would name their pit bull, Jesus.”
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Ars longa, vita brevis
Cogito ergo sum
Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
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08-02-2020 20:26 |
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