Jokes

How is playing bridge similar to sex?

If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand

If a professional piano player is pianist, is a professional race car driver racist?

And what about people who make rap music?

The only reason the term 'Ladies first' was invented was for the guy to check out the woman's ass.

If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment.

If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be £6.50 a minute.

Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.

What's the difference between a tyre and 365 used condoms?

One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from!

A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.