Jokes

They said I couldn't be an astronaut because of my claustrophobia.

I just need a little space, I told them.

Miscommunication joke:

Jed goes into a public restroom and he’s barely sat down in the cubicle when he hears a voice say, “Hi, how are you?“

Feeling a little embarrassed Jed says politely, “Well I guess I’m doing fine thank you!“

The voice then responds, “So what are you up to?“

Jed is even more embarrassed but once again he responds politely, “Well just like you, I’m sitting here trying to get a load off my mind.“

He then hears the voice say, “Hey, can I come over?“

Jed is now extremely embarrassed and starting to get slightly irritated too, so he snaps back, “Look, surely you understand I’m a bit busy right now!“

At this point he hears the voice say, “Jane listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the next cubicle who keeps responding to all my questions!”

You know what they’re saying about 2020.

It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.

Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed due to Covid.

It’s about to get ugly out there.

I could tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

So many coronavirus jokes out there.

It’s a pundemic.

Message to the guy on crutches who stole my camouflage safari suit.

You can hide but you can't run.

What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet ?

Chewing gum.