Jokes

Job Interview;


Interviewer: Well the interview went well and we're impressed! But. We need to know what happened during this 4 year break in jobs.

Applicant: Well, sir, easily explained. Those four years are when I went to Yale

Interviewer: Well I think that seals it. Congratulations. You have the job!

Applicant: Oh! Great! Thanks very much I really need this Yob.

I got sacked from my job in health and safety at a restaurant because someone hurt themselves beating eggs.

I hadn't done a whisk assessment.

A man walks into a zoo.

There is only one animal in the entire zoo and that's a dog.

It's a Shitzu!

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.

When the police show up, they ask him what happened.

The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job.

So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it.

Later they get together.

The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

(25-11-2020 16:46 )Skyline Wrote:  

wonder what recipient got with alices left overs ? and if lori were ever donate ,well ill just leave that thought here lol

Who’s idea was it to sing “Happy Birthday” while washing your hands?

Now every time I go to the bathroom, my kids expect me to walk out with a cake.

What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany?

The wurst-kase scenario.

You know what they’re saying about 2020.

It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.