Jokes

A company is making glass coffins.

Whether they’re successful remains to be seen.

What did the drummer name her twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two.

Sophie who was a prostitute took a job in Amsterdam. The madam gave her a room on the 5th floor. 1st night she got 50 clients. The madam was impressed and moved her to the 3rd floor. 2nd night Sophie got 100 customers so the madam told her she could have the ground floor. Thank goodness, said Sophie, I was knackered going up and down those stairs.

At a recent job interview:

"What's your name?"

"Dave Fucking Cunting Smith"

"Do you suffer from Tourette's Dave"

"No. But the Vicar at the Christening did."

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.​
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said.
'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'

It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet

Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task

I've decided in 2021 I want to have a sex change.

I'd like to change from having no sex, to having some sex.

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.

How do you make a hormone?

Don’t pay her.

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking downthe street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, "I sure wish I could do that"....

The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".....!!!