Jokes

One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears.

Personally, I think it’s bollocks.

If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?

What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

A con descending.

I'll get my coat

Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?

It had great food, but no atmosphere.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was in tents!

Why should you never trust stairs?

They’re always up to something.

You heard the rumour going around about butter?

Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it.

My best mate has just told me he is addicted to viagra.

No one is taking it harder than his wife.

"My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right!"

"I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda.

It was more of a fanta sea."