Jokes

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right!"

"I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now."

"You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine."

How do you make a room full of old ladies say "f*ck"??... Shout "BINGO!!"

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

“Beat it. We’re closed.”

Why is being in the military like a blow-job?

The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

I hear 40% of pet owners let their pets share their bed, so I thought I would give it a go.

Sadly my Godfish died.

I bought a pack of luminous condoms yesterday and thought I would try one last night.

I didn't have sex but at least I could read a book in bed without putting the light on.