Jokes

I just watched a documentary about beavers.

It was the best dam show I ever saw!

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward.

That’s just how I roll.

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie.

Man, they really grilled me.

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know, and I don't care!

My career as a bingo caller lasted all of one day... Apparently "a meal for two with a hairy view" is not an appropriate way to call out the number 69....

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener!

There are three types of people in the world:

Those who can count and those who can’t.

Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?”

The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

My pet chameleon won't change colour.

The vet says he is suffering from a reptile disfunction.