Jokes

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?

Because he knows better than to try the back door.

What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?

When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

So my girlfriend wanted a white Christmas…

But when I came on her face that morning, she didn’t even thank me

Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa.

My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home

I failed my audition for Romeo for completely misunderstanding the stage direction.

The script said;

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinselitis.

I'll get my coat

2 X-mas funny jokes

Q. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
A. One that's deep pan, crisp and even!

Q. What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
A. The elf-abet!

How is Christmas just like any other day at the office?

You do a bunch of work and some guy in a suit gets all the credit.

I love this time of year.

You can slam your laptop shut when your partner walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.