Jokes

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

A: Envelope.

Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!"

The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?"

They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder, they'd both be Stevie Wonder.

I entered the world kleptomania championship.

I took Gold, Silver and Bronze

My boss calls me 'the computer '

I think it's because if I'm left unattended for 15 minutes, I go to sleep.

I snuck up behind my girlfriend, covered her eyes with my hands, and whispered in her ear "I've got something big and hard for you"

She was not expecting that 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle....

(15-01-2022 21:36 )Cheesy Grin Wrote:  If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder, they'd both be Stevie Wonder.

That reminds me of the if Whitney Houston had married Gene Pitney.
Result: Whitney Pitney

Why did I call the police when my son wouldn’t nap?

He was resisting a rest.

If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.