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Jokes

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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12181
RE: Jokes
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"

Student: "Meat!"

Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"

Student: "Bacon!"

Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"

Student: "Homework!"

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Ars longa, vita brevis

Cogito ergo sum

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
14-01-2022 19:44
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12182
RE: Jokes
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

A: Envelope.

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Ars longa, vita brevis

Cogito ergo sum

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
14-01-2022 19:46
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12183
RE: Jokes
Mother superior tells two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.

One nun suggests to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!"

The nuns look at each other and one nun says, "He's blind, so he can't see. What could it hurt?"

They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

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Ars longa, vita brevis

Cogito ergo sum

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
14-01-2022 19:48
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Cheesy Grin Offline
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Post: #12184
RE: Jokes
If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder, they'd both be Stevie Wonder.

The last days are here...
15-01-2022 21:36
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Post: #12185
RE: Jokes
I entered the world kleptomania championship.

I took Gold, Silver and Bronze

The last days are here...
15-01-2022 21:37
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Cheesy Grin Offline
Losing the will
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Post: #12186
RE: Jokes
My boss calls me 'the computer '

I think it's because if I'm left unattended for 15 minutes, I go to sleep.

The last days are here...
15-01-2022 21:39
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Factotum Offline
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Post: #12187
RE: Jokes
I snuck up behind my girlfriend, covered her eyes with my hands, and whispered in her ear "I've got something big and hard for you"

She was not expecting that 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle....
15-01-2022 21:42
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Snooks Away
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Post: #12188
RE: Jokes
(15-01-2022 21:36 )Cheesy Grin Wrote:  If Stevie Nicks married Stevie Wonder, they'd both be Stevie Wonder.

That reminds me of the if Whitney Houston had married Gene Pitney.
Result: Whitney Pitney

15-01-2022 21:47
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12189
RE: Jokes
Why did I call the police when my son wouldn’t nap?

He was resisting a rest.

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Ars longa, vita brevis

Cogito ergo sum

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
16-01-2022 18:35
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billyboy1963 Offline
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Post: #12190
RE: Jokes
If you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughing stock.

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Ars longa, vita brevis

Cogito ergo sum

Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt
16-01-2022 18:37
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