Jokes

Being a waiter isn't the most glamorous job but it puts food on the table.

If you can't find a Star Wars joke, then you're looking in alderaan places.

Weirdly, I’ve been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn.

It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

Did you know about the hole in the walls of houses in the nudist colony?

The police are looking into it.

What did the guy say when he got caught playing with himself to an optical illusion?

It’s not what it looks like!

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?

About three inches.

My wife says she's going to leave if I don't do something about my obsession with astronomy.

What planet is she on?

I was wondering how lightning worked, then it struck me.

I took my wife by the hands and looked her in the eye.
"I've something to say that will be really hard."
Nervously, she nodded; "go on."
"Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead."

I always try to be the bigger person.

Cakes help.