Jokes

What's special about Edam cheese?

It's made backwards.

Hired a bouncer recently, but he showed up 5 minutes late, and during the event he wouldn't stop asking me if "I was mad at him"

Turns out I hired an "Insecurity Guard".

What do you call a 1 armed man who does karate?

A partial artist.

What do you call a scientist that snitches on you?

A lab rat.

The Queen just phoned to say I have won a knighthood!

It was a complete Sir prize.

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here. I'll go on ahead.

Why did the picture go to jail?

Because it was framed.

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch a cold.

Why are the Irish so wealthy?

Because their capital is always Dublin.

In a couple weeks, all gas stations are going to cut prices in half for a whole day

April Fuels!