Jokes

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs.

Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs.

Please don’t let Kevin Bacon die

Scientific studies show that women who carry al little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia with a Mastercard?

Because his Visa didn’t work.

I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined.

Tuesday is open Mike night!

I’m starting a flight company exclusively for bald people,

I’ll call it… Receding airlines.

So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means?

It’s not the end of the world.

I'm in a band called Dyslexia.

We've just released our Greatest Shit album.

What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper.

A FIZZician.

What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.