Jokes

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a little frog stuck in her throat.

Three old women are sitting on a park bench.

A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.

The first woman had a stroke.

The second woman had a stroke.

The third woman couldn't quite reach.

What do a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?

They both get close enough to smell the goods, but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.

What do you get when you cross human DNA with goat DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

My family was shocked to hear my uncle is addicted to viagra.

No one is taking it harder than my aunt.

What did the elephant ask the naked man?

“How do you breathe out of that thing?”

How is life like toilet paper?

You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

What do you do if your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

“Beat it. We’re closed!”