Jokes

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.

I said it must be my weekend immune system.

Why did the police officer arrest the skeleton?
They could see the joint in his hand.

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

Why do French people eat snails?

They don’t like fast food.

Marvin Gaye used to keep sheep in his vineyard.
He'd herd it through the grapevine.

What’s classy if you’re rich but taboo if you’re poor?

Taking Money from the Government.

How many Real Men does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Real men aren’t afraid of the dark.

Why did the world's first dating agency for chickens go broke?

They couldn't make hens meet.

What do you call it when the Grim Reaper offers to tidy up your hair?

A brush with Death.

What do you call a pile of coins in the rain?

Climate change.