Jokes

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don’t know and I don’t care.

What is Peter Pan's favourite place to eat?

Wendy's

My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

She hit the ceiling!

Two WiFi engineers got married.

The reception was fantastic.

I put Vaseline on my front doorknob for a joke the other day…

My missus didn’t find it funny at all. In fact, she flew off the handle!

Breaking news: A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.

Scientists have been left scratching their heads.

The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

Popped into the Oasis cafe and ordered soup…

Got a roll with it!

Adam & Eve were the first ones to ignore the Apple terms and conditions.