Jokes

All these years of technological developments and I still haven't seen a color photo of a panda or a zebra.

Greggs have announced they are to start delivering food ‍via drones.‍
All sounds a bit pie in the sky to me!

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up.

I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”

“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”

What do you call a dwarf that keeps the rhythm?
A metro-gnome!

Did you about the stolen dog collar?

Police are looking for leads.

How do lumberjacks know how many trees they’ve cut down?

They keep a log.

How do German carbohydrates say “hello?”
Gluten-tag!

As I get older and I remember all the people I’ve lost along the way, I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.