Jokes

Doc - "Hello, how can I help you?"

Man - "I've got an orange willy!"


Doc - "What?"

Man - "My willy - it's turned orange."


Doc - "Umm... I'll have to look that up. Ah, it seems it could be a sign of stress; do you suffer from stress?"

Man - "Not really"


Doc - "What about stress at work?"


Man - "Well, I did have a nightmare job, a complete idiot for a boss, I worked 80 hours week for pennies and then I got the sack"

Doc - "That sounds very stressful."


Man - "Yeah, but my new job is great, half the hours, 3 times the salary and I feel really appreciated"

Doc - "Hmm, what about your home life?"


Man - "Well, my girlfriend was a complete cow, she nagged non-stop and put me down every chance she got."

Doc - "That sounds stressful"

Man - "Yeah, but I left her and I've never been happier."


Doc - "I see, what about your social life?"

Man - "Social life? I don't really have one."


Doc - "Really? What do you do in your spare time?"


Man - "Watch porn and eat Wotsits."

the rooneys are enjoying having their baby home.they,re looking forward to teaching him to speak so that one day he,ll be able to communicate with his son.

hear' about the bloke who got caught sucking on a fishermans friend!!!

(29-11-2009 14:21 )jackobanger Wrote:  hear' about the bloke who got caught sucking on a fishermans friend!!!

no,go on then

(29-11-2009 14:24 )85stevewest Wrote:  

(29-11-2009 14:21 )jackobanger Wrote:  hear' about the bloke who got caught sucking on a fishermans friend!!!

no,go on then

ok steve mate.....well the woman who caught him was later arrested for sliding down a firemans pole!

hey mate,lol...cheers

i used to live in newmarket and went to the same newsagent all the jockeys used.i knew they went there because all the porn was on the bottom shelf

why are politicians never straight with answers?
cos their all bent mate!!!

Has anyone got Derren Brown's phone number?

I'm still stuck in this fucking chair.

I came downstairs this morning to see that my curtains were drawn.

All the furniture was real though.

Executives for I'm A Celebrity have said viewing figures have dropped by over 2 million since Katie Price left the jungle.

That's because her ex-boyfriends have stopped watching.