Jokes

Went out for a winter walk this morning and found a box of frozen fish on the pavement. I was going to hand it in to the police, but then decided it was a case of Findus kippers!

What's the difference between a seagull and a baby without a nappy?

One flits across the shore...........

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.

I have a hunch, it might be me.

The racing snail that got rid of his shell?

He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.

I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.

Now I have Heinzsight.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic

I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage

I lost my case

There was a king once who was 12 inches tall.

Terrible king, a great ruler.

My doctor recommended I buy orthopedic insoles.

I didn’t think they would work, but now I stand corrected.