Jokes

The therapist asked my wife why she wanted to end our marriage.

She said she hated all the constant Star Wars puns.

I looked at the therapist and said, "Divorce is strong with this one!"

The Office Escape Plan short joke story

An intern draws a heroic escape plan for lunch break: a rope made of ties, a distraction of spilled coffee, and a dramatic exit through the supply closet. The plan is executed flawlessly — until everyone realizes the intern just wanted to avoid the printer that eats staplers. The printer returns the staplers with a note: “Snack paid for.”

After ten long years of study, a student comes rushing into Einstein’s office shouting, “Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!”

Einstein rolls his eyes and says, “It’s about .

A manager reprimanded an employee and asked him ” Why are you never at your desk?”

The employee replied, “Well, as you say, good employees are hard to find!”

The Honest GPS short joke story

A driver follows a new GPS that promises “personality.” After 30 minutes of polite directions, the GPS announces: “Recalculating. Also, honestly? You missed a turn three miles ago and we’re in a very scenic set of roundabouts.” The driver asks for a compliment. GPS: “You’re trying. That counts.” The trip gains two followers.

What do you call an orchestra performing on a hill?

Musically inclined.

The son asks his dad, “Dad, what can I do if I want to live forever?”

Dad replies, “All you have to do is marry.”

The son is surprised, “And that will really make me live forever?”

Daddy replies wearily, “No, but the wish dies.”

Girls mostly treat me like a God.

They totally forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something.

The Forgetful Wizard short joke story

A wizard casts a “Memory Charm” to remember where he left his wand. The charm works, but it remembers everything else first — his childhood pet, a sandwich he once liked, the name of that actor from a movie he can’t place. Ten minutes later he finds the wand in his hat. The hat sighs and says, “About time.

A rookie Secret Service agent working for Trump hears a loud sound and screams, “Mickey Mouse!”

A team of agents run towards the sound.

The President turns to him and asks, “Why Mickey Mouse?”

The flustered agent says, “I panicked… I meant to say Donald, duck!”