Jokes

"I'm going to the doctor," says Mary.

"Why, what's wrong?" asks her best friend Sara.

"I want to ask him how many calories there really are in sperm."

Sara says, "Why worry? If you're swallowing that much, no man is going to care if you're a bit chubby."

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.” “Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?”

there are three kinds of people.those that can count and those that cant

What is the difference between “Ooooh!” and “Aaaah!”?

About three inches.

What’s the difference between pink and purple?

The grip!

What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years your job will still suck.

What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?

They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.

i have friends who swear they dream in colour.its just a pigment of their imagination

What’s the difference between your paycheck and your cock?

You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.