Jokes

'Curvy, bubbly 24 year old seeks tall, dark, and handsome male'.

Curvy and bubbly?! If I wanted something loud and round I'd buy a whoopie cushion.

My wife thinks I have erectile dysfunction.

I just don't have the heart to tell her she's a fat ugly cunt.

I had to go to the doctors the other day to get a lump on one of my nads checked out.
As he was fondling my balls he suddenly stopped and said "Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to get an erection."
I said "WHAT?!, I don't have have an erection."
He replied "no no, I know you don't, I was talking about me!"

doing the maths

if sally has two balls in one hand,and four balls in the other,what does she have?
about three minutes till she,s got a faceful of cum

my mate bragged that he,s shagged eight birds in the last two weeks
i replied"im suprised the petshop hasnt banned you then"

What do old women have between their breasts that young women don’t?

A navel.

what did the grape do when it got stepped on?
it let out a little wine

why dont skeletons fight each other?
because they dont have the guts

A couple take on an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could
have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a
bath but she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.......
"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said..
So the girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday....
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman
Filled the bath and watched as the girl got undressed. She was surprised to
See that the lass didn't have any pubic hair, and told her husband when
he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said, "Next week I'll leave a
gap in the curtains so that you can see for yourself.."
The following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked,
"Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hairs down there.Do you have hairs?"
"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she showed off her hairy muff.
When the girl went to bed the husband came in, and the wife asked,
"Did you see it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why not?" she said. "You've seen it before."
"I know," he said, "but the darts team hadn't!!"

just got scammed out of $25.00 and I wanted to pass on the warning !

I bought the Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".

Turns out it's about golf. Damn Waste of money.

Please pass this on so others don't get scammed!