Jokes

What’s the difference between a new wife and a new dog.

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

why did tigger look down the toilet?

to find pooh of course!!

an essex girl stops behind a lorry at the traffic lights jumps out and says"excuse me mate but ive been following you down the road and did you know your load is falling off the back of your lorry?" the driver looks amazed and says "yeah,im gritting"

how many ears does davy crockett have?three.....a left ear,a right ear,and a wild front ear

how do you get a tissue to dance?you put a little boogie in it

my brother opened a betting shop.hows he getting on?six months,he opened it with a crow bar

the wife met me at the door last night wearing sexy underwear.lucky me?not really,she was coming home

i invited a girl back to my house the other week and promised her she,d moan like she,s never done before.and she did,cus i put match of the day on.

we found out that our house was once the site of an exorcism.its due to be re-possessed next week

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.


Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, son."