Jokes

Not sure if this has been posted..if so apologies

Daddy, how was I born ? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.

so i went down to my local ice cream shop and said "i want to buy an ice cream" he said "hundreds and thousands?" i said"no thanks,just the one"

What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?

Popeye almost killed him!

why is there always spaces at the front in a gay car park?

because they always park in the rear.

most dentist chairs go up and down.well,the one i was in went backwards and forwards,and the dentist said"mr west,please get out of my filing cabinet"

Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...

A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.

as i was getting into my car this bloke said to me"could you give me a lift?"
i said"sure,you look great the worlds your oyster"

How can you tell if you eat pussy well?

You wake up in the morning with a face like a glazed doughnut and a beard like an unwashed paintbrush.

you know,somebody complimented me on my driving the other day,they left me a little note on the windscreen.it said"parking fine"i thought thats very nice of them