Jokes

What do Wayne Bridge and the Titanic have in common? They both should've stayed at Southampton.

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What has Vanessa Perroncel got in common with a Champions League final goalpost? They've both been banged by John Terry...

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We all knew John Terry liked scoring at The Bridge, but this is ridiculous.

Poor Wayne Bridge - he's not even first choice with his his wife.

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Wayne Bridge bought Vanessa Perroncel a chocolate willy... but she says she prefers Terry's.


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John Terry has explained he didn't mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel - he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.

there was talk of stephen gerrard going into celebrity big brother.he told reporters"its my only chance of winning something this year

*Breaking News*

The England team have all voted for John Terry to keep his place in the team and join them in South Africa

With Capello's ban on wives and girlfriends traveling to the finals, no-one wants him left behind

I'm an avid bird watcher.

Or "stalker", as the police prefer to call it.

a woman goes to her gynaecologist after she gets her vibrator stuck inside her."to remove that"says the doctor"im going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation"the woman says"cant you just replace the batteries?"

old jim has retired and is at the post office to apply for his pension.the woman behind the counter aks him for his driving licence to verify his age.so jim starts fumbling for his wallet.after a minute he says"im sorry,i must have left my wallet at home"the woman says"ok then,we can do it another way.unbutton your shirt please?"jim does so,revealing a thicket of curly grey hair.the woman says"that silver hair is proof enough for me"as she hands him his pension.when he gets home jim recounts the story to his mrs who says "you should of dropped your trousers too,you might have got disability benefits"

What does a bull do to stay warm on a bitterly cold day?

He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm “Jersey

(03-02-2010 17:45 )Shalashaska Wrote:  I'm an avid bird watcher.

Or "stalker", as the police prefer to call it.

the girlfriend rubbed coffee granules on the end of my cock,i came in an instant